Talking to boys is a strange and foreign thing for me.

Blog Post number: I don't know, look for yourself.

Song Being Played While Writing This: Sweet Disposition, it’s on the 500 days of Summer soundtrack.

Topic:  Strange and foreign things.

What I should be doing: Luring my muse back to my writing with cookies. 

All I know about boys is that they are a vital thing for the ecosystem, and what I’ve read from Meg Cabot’s/Judy Blumes books.

So when I talk to one I always stammer over my sentences and once I called JK Rowling a he (I got her 

gender mixed up with Stephen King’s. You can stop laughing now).

Here’s what I use for pick-up lines (bear in mind these are all at the library).

‘You know if you’re looking for a good book there’s the Harry Potter series.’

And-

‘Have you read the Harry Potter series?’

That’s it. And coming from my mouth it sounds more like this.

Y-y-you k-know if you’re looking for a good book there’s the Parry Hott-Harry Potter series.

Yeah, and I wonder why boys aren’t queuing up at my front door asking for my phone number.

Then when I do start talking to a boy I somehow find some way to compare him to a fictional character, the last guy I talked to BMXed, was REALLY tall, and skinny, so I guess that makes him a sort of a Fang from the Maximum Ride series, I mean I know Fang did ballet in the skies and blogged instead of BMXed but hey he’s the first person that popped into my mind.

My very first crush that was my age I compare to Harry Potter, kind of miss him now. We met at a homeschooling group when I was like eight, he liked Harry Potter in fact it’s because of him that I even knew who Harry Potter was. So thanks for that Nick.

Tattoo Shops

So every day from Tuesday-Friday my sister and I walk to the library, we normally see the same guy twirling the same sign for a pawnshop (he’s ok, a born salesman though), we see all the same stuff.

Before you get to the library there’s this crosswalk that you have to…er…cross (obviously). Right by this crosswalk is a Tattoo Shop, which has the worst music in the world, let me just point out.

Anyway there’s this snake in a cage that you can see from the door, it’s a corn silk and her name’s Lucille (her name was decorated around the cage, we didn’t actually go inside and ask), so basically ever time we go to the crosswalk, we stop and peer in the window to see if we can see Lucille.

One time I saw a guy take his shirt off so he could show the guy where he wanted his tattoo, that was a complete accident though, and I’d rather not divulge about it just yet.

Anyway so my sister and I were talking tattoos, she doesn’t want one but I said I was seriously considering getting a Deathly Hallows symbol on my ankle.

However considering I’m only sixteen, I will have probably have changed my mind before I turn eighteen. It's almost a given.

Anyway my sister who is incredibly intelligent (note my sarcasm) said I should go inside and ask them if they do Harry Potter tattoos. I said she was nuts, because they would have seen past me so fast I’d be too scared to go back to the library.

Remember Hermione when she was asking about Draco to Borgin? That’s how I would have been, in other words, pathetic.

However I did go in there once, my sister and I had a quarter and they had a candy machine with M&Ms, so 

I had to go in there and do it.

I won’t lie I was scared crapless, I thought someone was going to yell at me for loitering (which I wasn’t) and the décor didn’t help. But no one did yell at me, and in the end I was rather put out because that machine gave us a cheap thing of M&Ms.

And people wonder why my theme song is White and Nerdy. 

Write What You Know

I am a firm believer in write what you know, a lot of people I talk to (so basically like two per month) say that they don’t know what to write about because honestly what do they know?

They know a lot actually, I write comedy because that’s what I know, I know about embarrassing encounters with boys, and going into a tattoo shop and getting M&Ms from the machine there on a dare, I know about nerdiness, I know about writing.

Hence my books are normally about nerds who write, there’s a different plot every time, and the characters are normally different in some ways, but you can still spot a pattern.

Another way to write what you know is to do research, if you’re going to write a fantasy REASEARCH IT! And I don’t mean boring stuff, I mean just get some books from the library on fantasy that are some of the best and read them, that way you can spot what’s believable and what’s not.

What’ll happen if you don’t do your research you ask? Easy, you’ll have a book like Stephanie Meyer’s YUCK!

Now there’s another kind of research that most writer’s detest (because we’re a lazy bunch), it’s looking up technical terms, and actually contacting the police department or science lab and seeing if it would be a realistic thing or not. Some of writers that hate this kind of research are John Grishman, Stephen King……and me.

Feel free to skip this kind of research.

On the subject of great writers let me add a side note that both John Grishman and Stephen King write what they know, John Grishman was a lawyer so now all his books have to do with a lawyer, or a court case, Stephen King on the other hand grew up in a small town in Maine and had a tight group of friends when he was eleven, so he writes about Maine, and plucky boys that are always getting into trouble (It, Stand by Me, Under the Dome), also most of his main adult characters are in fact writers.

Now in my experience here’s what happens when you don’t write what you know and you write things that you didn’t even research and know nothing about.

Twilight (‘Nuff said). I think this GIF below explains my feelings toward people who like the books.

Really bad writing that nobody can believe, because it’s not realistic, I know that doesn’t sound like a big thing, but believe me it’s bad.

Who I really am

While no one has voiced it I’m pretty sure some of my friends wonder what I look like, yes all my friends are all online and live in different far away states, no I don’t care.

Anyway I have decided for those who care I am disclosing a picture of myself, yes I know this is a leap of faith and that this pictures could go anywhere which is why I displayed caution on where I am and what I am doing in this photo.

So here it is.

I, Pen Clearwater am a floppy eared bunny who has glasses.

Wait? Why are you all smirking like that? STOP MAKING FUN OF MY GLASSES!

As you can see I am eating a very healthy carrot, which is good for the eyes (obviously I need all the eye help I can get), and in the back you can see my teddy bear, his name is Teddy.

Very unoriginal, I know.

Oh and these are my younger sisters, who are twins. As you can see they are sharing a blade of grass,   which I’m pretty sure has no nutrition value, much like a cheeseburger.

I hope all (all meaning the one person who read this) of you enjoyed my family album. 

Half Bloods In Costco

I have had really no experience with Percy Jackson and his merry gang of whatisits, I haven’t seen the movie and I haven’t read the books, and in all honesty I probably won’t.

Because they copied off Harry Potter, and humiliated me they deserve to be punished….hence me not reading them.

So a couple of days ago I was in Costco with my mother, you see you can buy large quantities at discount prices at Costco.

Yes Man anyone? Alright….moving on.

I was in the freezer section when I spot this kid (by kid I mean he was about five) wearing a shirt that says Camp Half-blood, of course my mind goes straight to Harry Potter.

So here’s what happened.

Me acting like a two year old in the aisle where they have candy: Oh, my gosh that boy has a Camp Half-Blood shirt! He's a Harry Potter fan look!

Me to the little boy with the shirt: You're a Harry Potter fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Little Boy looks at me strangely: No...

Me: But your shirt says camp Half-blood.

The boy’s mother who's now looking at me strangely: It's a Percy Jackson reference.

Me, trying to not look like an idiot: Oh...I just thought that..you know with the Harry Potter book Half-Blood Prince...I just thought.

Mother gives me another weird look and runs away with her kids.

It’s official, I creep people out with my HPness.

Remember to change your screensaver.

Blog Post: Four.

Song being played while writing this post: The Sharpest Lives –My Chemical Romance.

Topic: Changing your embarrassing screensaver.

What I should be doing: Anything but this.

Anyway so today I went to Best Buy with my mother, I was finally getting one of those mobile hotspot thingies (I’m not sure what the term is) you carry it around and it brings you internet wherever you go.

Whoever invented it should be given the Nobel Prize, I love that thing.

Anyway turns out the woman there IS A POTTER FAN! She likes the Potter Puppet Pals.

Snape, Snape, Severus Snape, Snape, Snape Severus Snape, DUMBLEDORE!

She was also a Ron/Hermione fan J.

Which means that I thought she was the greatest Best Buy saleswoman EVER! And we got along great, I have NEVER had such a buying experience.

She understood my need to have internet wherever I go….. *pauses so that I can get rid of my tears of happiness*.

Anyway she asked to me turn on my computer so I could get connected and well…. Let me just say that I’m a teenage girl, I’m not so stupid that I salivate over little boys that sing like girls (who said anything about Justin Bieber?) but I am stupid enough to have this as my screensaver.

Yeah…..

Thankfully she didn’t say anything and she didn’t even smirk so points to her, but it was still embarrassing, I have had to take it off my desktop so now my screensaver is a picture of the MCR boys. 

The Library

Blog Post: 3

Song being played while writing this post: 3 S’ by Mindless Self Indulgence.

Topic: the Library.

What I should be doing: writing The Art of Faking It.

Alright basically the library is my one source of having a social life, I’m homeschooled and any free time I have is then spent on a chat site for writers. I go to the library so I can download my stuff freely, and to talk to people.

People being the librarians and almost no one else.

So yeah if you didn’t get it before I spend most of my time on my computer.

Anyway there was a guy there, well guy isn’t the exact word for it considering he’s around sixteen/seventeen (which means he’s in my league…well age-wise at least), now I wouldn’t call him ultra-hot but he is pretty cute and he looks like the type of guy who would know/read the Harry Potter books, so I figured we’re soulmates.

Yeah I know I jump to things too quickly, moving on.

Turns out he’s also a volunteer at the library…by choice, which means he’s always around, which means that he could be just about as big a nerd as me. Plus he’s always in the sci-fi section.

True love anyone?

Only problem is…well actually there are two problems now.

1). He’s always listening to his iPod, my friend told me I should yell at him, I find that embarrassing though so I didn’t do that.

2). He already caught me staring once, now he might not have thought I have staring, he might have thought I was looking at book behind him.

Yes this is VERY far-fetched but all hope helps.

Anyway you probably want to know how I know so much about what this guy does/who he is, turns out I didn’t do much work at all, really the whole thing just cost me my pride, and I don’t have much of that left.

I asked the librarian, he totally saw through my cool and suave way of asking. He was nice about it though, instead of asking me if I liked the guy he just smiled knowingly. Thanks librarian.

So yeah, now the only thing left to do is talk to him.

I’m scared. I haven’t talked to a boy since the lifeguard at the beach who helped me out when I got stung by a sting ray (no I wasn’t carried, I wish), and even though he was mega-hot AND read the Harry Potter books he was also older than me (like in his twenties).

So here I go.

Date a Girl That Reads.

Alright so I found this one on a tumblr and it was really sweet, I wish I had been the one to write it, and it's really suckish that I don't know the writer, if you know the writer tell me, so I can pepper her with questions and make her so annoyed with my fangirling. :)

"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

So...hello blog.

Alright let me just start of by saying I'm sorry, because my first post is really going to suck eggs. Honestly it was either this or a blog, and I have friends on here and my little sister has a blog so basically it was either my little sister or my friends.

Who would you have picked? Yes I know you would have picked Tumblr, but I think Tumblr has a word limit, so that blew.

The reason why I wanted to do this was for one reason really, I have opinions that I want to share and my family doesn't want me sharing them with them anymore.

So I have chosen you blogspot, *insert evil laugh*.

I'm not going to continue on a long rant of what I like/dislike (except for Twilight, let me make it known now that I HATE Twilight). Mainly because if I don't then that means I only have to write one more sentence and I'm incredibly lazy.

Hence the reason why I'm a writer.

Anyway if you like awkward moments, sting ray issues, and pictures of cute nerds (not of me you perv, of the Potter cast) then...I don't know...you think of something.